Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Littlest One

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I’m not really sure where to start with you my littlest one.  You have handled the past few months so well and Daddy and I couldn’t be more proud of you!  A new school, a new classroom of friends, new teachers, and you have shown us that you really can handle these changes with ease (most days).  I have missed you so much the past few months, but I know we are doing what is best for you right now.  You need this, you need to find your sense of self away from me and the house.  You need to grow, learn, talk, play, love new adults that aren’t in your immediate family.  You need these experiences.  Time is on our side, and I have all of the confidence that you will figure out this crazy thing called life and blow us away. 

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A very wise friend told me that Grace is writing her own story.  It may not have been the story that Chris and I had written in our minds and our hearts when she was born.  But it is hers and she will own it.  (wink, wink you know who you are…)  This really spoke to me.  I was so hung up on accepting that things weren’t going exactly as planned, that her little life was harder for her in so many ways.  Yes, sometimes words don’t come easy for you, emotions flow just under the surface ready to explode at any moment, siblings are on edge when the tantrums start and they know when to get out of your way, and sleep has been our demon on many occasions.  Odd things bother you, strangers, mow mows (lawn mowers), birthday parties, loud noises, thunder storms, playing with neighbors, moving from one thing to another, and much more.  BUT, I felt that things were better, you were improving, you were talking so much more.  All of this growth was just on your own time and in on a different clock than my other two.  After two full months of testing by a caring team of teachers and professionals, they told us that you needed a special preschool for children just like you.  Children growing at their own pace, in their own way and a perfect place for you to feel safe and be pushed at the same time.  

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All of this doesn’t change how I feel about you, my littlest one with the beautiful blue eyes.  The school, the preschool, the testing, the labels, the teachers.  You are still YOU.  My Grace Ivy.  My sign from above that all is forgiven.  Life might be messy and not the story we planned. BUT it is our story, my Gracie girl.  Someday you will feel comfortable and confident enough to show the world just how truly special you are.  Your amazing comedic timing, your silly laugh, your giggling face as you run around the house in your birthday suit.  You are you, and you are mine.  That is all I need to know for now and forevermore.

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And there are two other people on this planet that love you just as big as your mommy and daddy.  I think you know who they are…

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Gracie singing “Reindeer Pokie” with Bradley and Ellie