Wednesday, March 21, 2012

This is How I Remember Her…

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This is how I will remember you.  The loving lady that jumped at the chance to be a part of our life.  The Grandmother that everyone wants to have and wishes to be one day.  You know the one the makes you smile just seeing her.  The one that brings baked goods and money for new shoes every time she would visit your house.  This is that Grandma for me.  The special one that I chose to follow around as a little girl.  I would pepper her with questions:

Grandma, will you take me to visit your classroom?  Can I be a teacher one day?

Will you cut me some fresh strawberries and sprinkle powdered sugar on top?  (the answer was always yes!)

Will you play with me in the basement, let’s play school!?

Can you show me how you make mashed potatoes?

Will you teach me to play cards?

Can we dig in the garden?

yes, yes, yes…Let me love on you, spend time with you, guide you, that was always her answer, yes.

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In my mind’s eye I could be right back at her house.  Snuggled up in the antique beds, with the crisp white blankets.  I am running through the the acres of grass, down the hills and over to the swing set.  I am lounging in the family room watching hours of Anne of Green Gables.  I am gathered for yet another amazing family meal, eating fresh vegetables from her garden and helping her set the fine china.  Christmases, birthdays, Easters, holidays, they are all a blur between our home and Grandma’s house.  Summers were always spent with Grandma.  For week long stays, or even entire summers when we were moving (which happened often!).  We would just camp out for the summer at Grandma’s house until the move was complete or the new house was finished.  The door was always open for us. 

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She was never more proud of her two girls.  Lindsay and I.  We were the most special people to her and she made sure we knew it every time we were around her. 

She is 91 and went under hospice care today.  I have been with her and have held her hand.  I am torn between the want to be with her every day and the daily needs of my three little ones.  I know she understands that I have three little gems that need their mommy, but I want to be with her.  Tomorrow I will get some time with her and this weekend. 

She always made sure I knew how loved I was.  I am just hoping she knows how special she is to me.  I hope I told her that.  I followed in your footsteps Grandma.  You helped to form the woman, mom, and person I am today.  I love you.   

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8 comments:

Unknown said...

So sweet, Clare! I am sure she knows how dear she is to you. Thinking of you and your family...

laura said...

oh clare...

i have tears in my eyes, remembering my own grandmother and wishing i had the chance to say these things to her before she unexpectedly passed away 11 years ago yesterday. i am thinking of you and your family and praying for peace and comfort for your grandmother.

xo!

amanda said...

sending lots of love, hugs and prayers to you and your whole family!

Jentifur said...

I am so sorry to hear your Granmother's health is bad. I am right there with you... I had one in a rehab center and one in the hospital over the last month.

So glad you get to see her and love on her while you can. Prayers to you and your family in this tough time.

Katie said...

Clare, I'm so sorry for this difficult time you are going through. I am glad you will have some final sweet moments with her and I know you will treasure that. I know that I feel very blessed to have had some of my grandparents for as long as I have--I'm sure you feel the same. Love to you all during this time. XOXOXO

Colleen said...

Oh Clare, I am so sorry to hear that your grandmother is not well. Such a sweet post!

Lindsay said...

Sweet post Clare! I have only fond memories of Grandma! Tim is going to scan some pictures in for me today :-)

laura said...

i just read your sister's post about your beloved grandmother and just wanted to let you know i am thinking of you all...xoxo!