Friday, January 13, 2012

The Overdue Birthday Letter to My Big Five Year Old

Delivery B&W

This post is long overdue…

Bradley I can’t believe that you are an AMAZING five years old!  On the day you were born I never would have dreamed the adventures that lay before us.  The love that would capture us.  And the bond that would form between us.  You taught me everything I know about how to be a Mom.  Loving unconditionally.  Giving more of myself than I ever thought possible.  And truly feeling for another human more compassion than I ever thought possible.

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Your gorgeous baby face I could have eaten up with a spoon.  Those little cheeks, the lips, and the drool hanging from your chin.  I never thought that you would grow up so fast.  I remember imagining the day I would send you off to school, and to think that day is just months away breaks my heart. 

We talk about it often.  You being a big boy and riding on the bus to school every day.  I tell you how sad I will be to have you gone and how much I will miss you.  You say not to worry mommy, the bus will bring me home in the afternoon.  silly mommy.

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you turned one.  time marches on.  quicker than I would like.  life catches you by surprise sometimes.  looking back through these pictures remind me of the mommy I was when I just had one little person to worry over.  and the mommy I am now balancing the care of three little children.  I will always treasure those first three years, of just me and bradley time.  what a special time we had together.  I will be thankful for it, and for my sweet husband letting me be home to enjoy it.

I just started going through your bin of little itty bitty first year clothes last week.  there were just some things I couldn’t part with.  it is almost like holding on to them makes me feel better.  the little matching sweaters and hats.  I am saving them for someone special.  a friend or a nephew that will truly love them.  I can’t just sell them to a stranger.  the memories are too strong.  isn’t that weird that clothes can remind us specific places and times in our lives?

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then two came and went.  you grew up from a toddler to little speaking, singing, and opinionated two year old.  no one told me what was in store for me from the ages of 15 months to 24 months.  you blew my mind!  I saw a lot of this…

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but we made it through together, me and my little man.  it all feels like a blur now, the tantrums, the fits, and the power of wills.  you showed me that love means even more when you are ready to pull your hair out!  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with ellie, the words are increasing and the tantrums are slowing down with her.  it is a process!

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  My sweet three year old!  Turning two to three was such a special year for me.  I was pregnant with ellie for part of the year, but we had lots and lots of time together.  We went on many play dates, to the little gym every week, to the library, and two mornings to preschool.  you turned into such a fun loving little boy, who would sleep in a big bed and go pee pee on the potty.  You were the apple of our eye, and turning into such a little man.

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From three to four I saw the sweetness in you come out full force.  you became a big brother, learned how to share your time with Mommy, and loved every second of it.  You also started to love “big boy” things like batman and spiderman.  We had ellie, built our house, and moved all the while you handled it with ease.  I would say three to four was one of my favorite years with you by far.  You just blossomed socially and in school. 

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And here we are, wrapping up the year of four to five.  This past year was another big one!  You became a big brother for the second time, handing it with amazing love and patience.  We have seen little sides of jealousy and fighting for our attention lately, but that is to be expected.  You are still so gentle and sweet with Grace it amazes me.  Your patience for Ellie is about as long as mine, she definitely loves you so much and loves to get into your stuff too! 

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This picture just brings me to tears.  The thought that you were once that small just a short, short time ago.  Now you are the big one, with the hazel eyes, the loving smile and the stories that last a million years.  You have inherited my story telling abilities for sure.  You will talk mommy and daddy to death and talk to just about anyone who will listen.  From Gigi and Pop Pop, to Grandma on skype, to the Orkin man Melvin when he stops by once a month. 

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I hope you will know how truly special you are.  I know my patience is short these days.  I am tired and worn out.  I don’t have time to play with you as much as I would like.  As soon as I sit down to get started coloring with you someone needs me or Ellie has stolen a marker to write with on the walls (she just did that this week!).  But I promise that things will settle down soon, and I won’t always have a crazy toddler to chase after. 

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You are my little golden boy.  Sweet as pie.  A rule follower.  A demander of justice and right and wrong.  You want to please and always do the right thing.  I hope that never changes.  I hope that you continue to grow up as happy and sweet as you are right now.  I want to bottle up your kindness and pass it around.  The world needs a million more people as kind and compassionate as you.

I love you, my Big Five year old boy!  Love your mama

3 comments:

Colleen said...

Those were awesome Claire!! He is so cute with his little sisters. It goes so fast, doesn't it?!!!

Lindsay said...

Sooo sweet! Loved all of the pictures.. but that last one.. that big smile reminds me so much of you! Love you Bradley!!

amanda said...

love the look back letter. why is five just so hard to wrap my head around? five! it's just crazy friend!!

hope you are in the throws of a lovely weekend!