Monday, May 16, 2011

Follow That Restless Urge to Find Yourself

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I found this quote in a Chinese fortune cookie recently.  I tucked it into my planner, because it really spoke to me.  Today I was making a doctor’s appointment and it fell out.  Sometimes since I have entered the phase of motherhood I have wondered what more I will do with my life?  What are my passions and dreams? 

It is true that since having Bradley I have delved into a few different passions.  First there was Stampin’ Up.  And oh how I still do love a handmade card, Chris did call it the “money sucker.”  The amount of time and money it took to put on a party, you could have very little profit in return.  So after two years of trying out that I gave it up.  I have hoards of supplies, and will still sit down and make a ton of cards, but it isn’t a money making business that is for sure. 

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Then I thought, well I love to work out, why not become a teacher at the gym?  After 6 months of training and prep I became certified in Body Step.  It wasn’t an easy process that is for sure.  I got a job at the local gym and quickly learned that I had fallen prey to another “money sucker” as Chris would call it.  You get paid $15 to $20 a class, and you may spend 5 to 6 hours training for a new 60 minute routine.  Yikes!!  Not to mention that the classes were in the late afternoon, and I was missing dinner time.  Leaving that all for Chris to handle just didn’t seem right.  Not quite sure that is what I signed up for.  After having Ellie I have had some of my friends that work at my gym ask me if I was interested in teaching Body Step again.  I just don’t think so.  I don’t want to spend every waking second of naptime down in the basement memorizing movements, hand motions, and which foot to start on. 

After writing all that I feel like the quitter of the century.

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Maybe that is all part of the restless urge to find yourself.  In the mist of diaper changes, play dates, and bowls of cheerios, where do I fit in?  When my children are out of the stage of “hands on” parenting I don’t want to be left in the dust.  I also want them to know, that as much as I LOVE being their Mommy there is more to me too.  I have interests, dreams, and at the heart of that I think it is good for them to see a more complex me.

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Through all of this trial and error, something has emerged.  A talent that was hidden beneath the surface, that I didn’t know existed until Bradley was born.  My love of photography.  My never ending desire to capture the moments of their growth.  It has developed over the years.  First I broke my point and shoot camera.  Then I purchased my first Nikon SLR.  A few years spent shooting in Auto, not knowing why my pictures did look like the ones on photography websites.  Wanting my camera to do more for me.

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Pushing myself to get off of auto and into manual was a big step.  I took lots of pictures that were black, the white balance was off, they were overexposed.  But, slowly it happened.  I got better.  People began to notice.  I started to get emails and requests for me to take pictures of their family.  After a lot of discussions with Chris I feel ready to dive into this head first.  I am ready to take my pictures to the next level, and see what adventures are out there for me. 

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I am hoping to set up some sessions this year that I could use as part of an official photography website.  All of this wouldn’t be up and running for another year and a half.  We will be fully immersed in Baby #3s arrival for the next year or more.  I don’t want to rush this in any way at all.  I want to give myself plenty of time to set up a website, logo and business name, and all of the other important details that go along with starting a small business.

In the meantime, I will be taking pictures.  Taking lots of them, editing them, and trying to improve my trade.  I will also be setting up sessions with anyone that would like to be a “trial run” for me.  I will charge a small fee, and you will receive all of the good edited photos we take digitally.  You can use these photos in any way you like, in return for me to put them on my photography website or use them as advertising in the future.  If you live by me and would like to be part of starting my business, please contact me. 

You can find me on facebook here.   

May you fill that urge to find yourself too.  I think I have uncovered mine.  Please join me on this journey.  If you don’t follow your dreams, you may not know the amazing things awaiting you.

Love, Clare

If you have any good ideas for getting started, or other helpful hints, I would love to know too!!

12 comments:

Lindsay said...

Dear sister of mine!! I am so very proud of you!!! I would love to be a trail run!! :-) Name the day and time!! Love you!

Anonymous said...

With all the magnificent accomplishments you are achieved (Masters degree with honors; teaching career in three school districts; wonderful marriage, love of our lives children – Bradley, Ellie, & ????) you can never consider yourself a quitter! Clare, Mom and I are so proud of the wonderful women and mothers you and Lindsay have become. We could not ask for any greater joy. Love, Dad.

Jodee said...

Clare -- How exciting! I think photography will be a perfect fit for you! Wish we lived closer so you could practice with my family!

laura said...

ooh, happy day, friend! it has been so inspiring to watch your photography skills grow and blossom this past year. i cannot wait to see what the future holds for you and your new endeavor! i'm envisioning a photo session of my brood in the Lawn sometime . . . :)

so proud of you, so happy for you!

Colleen said...

First, I love your dad's comment. how adorable and nice to see that.
You definitely have lots to be proud of. I am so excited for you!!

do you have any books to recommend that you have read? (on photography that is)
Oh, and I love the pic of Ellie on the floor - so darn cute (in her diaper.)

Jenny said...

Geez...your Dad totally knows how to make a girl cry, a pregnant one at that! So sweet...

You are amazing at so many things and I know you will awesome at this. Wish I was closer because I would totally do a trial run with you!

Ang said...

I love this self-reflection. :)

Are we too far away to arrange something?

amanda said...

oh how i love daddy's :) so sweet of him clare!

huge high fives on this big leap - you will do great!

Jentifur said...

Congrats! How exciting for you, I know this will be a great adventure.

aimee said...

Yay for you! Can't wait to see the website when it launches!

Jaime said...

That is very exciting!!!!!! And if you need more portfolio kiddos, just let me know --- I would love some good sibling shots of my two this summer.

Krystyn said...

Hey girl, when I say I know where you are coming from...trust me...I know.

So congrats on putting yourself out there and doing it!

(BTW, I know "somebody" aka me! that does logo designs, etc. Just saying...)