I love this picture. It sums up so much for my life right now. My focus is on my children and my family. Everything else just spins around me. Time passing more quickly each year, each month, each week.
Until next thing you know you are 31, expecting your third child. How did it happen?
But I have to say that mostly it has been sunny skies, roses, and happiness. If I look back on the big picture of it all, I just think wow, I am so lucky. I am home with these beautiful children. I get to take them to the playground, on walks, and snuggle them at home. I am truly blessed.
And now I get to have another baby. If you had asked me in 2008 that I would be writing a blog post about having a THIRD child I would have probably told you that was impossible. Just having a second baby seemed to be a goal that was just out of my reach. Everyone else in the world was pregnant, could get pregnant, except me and Chris.
Now here we are.
So this little baby is truly a tiny miracle. Chris and I knew that we had a slim window to try again to have another child. We could either use that window, or go back on birth control and cross our fingers that the endometriosis wouldn’t progress like it had between Bradley and Ellie. I would never have another surgery to try and get pregnant. We were content. A boy and a girl.
But, I walk past that third bedroom upstairs and always wondered. What if? Could we be so lucky?
This whole time I had continued to nurse Ellie and didn’t try to think anything of it, or let that be my focus in any way. But, slowly around 10 1/2 months she started to become very uninterested in nursing. I was so sad, but I kept with it. I continued to nurse her twice a day for weeks, and then she would only nurse for me in the morning. I just thought, well she is slowly weaning herself.
Then February came. I started to get tired. Instead of knitting into all hours of the night, or sitting at the sewing machine, I would just plop down on the couch. Still, I didn’t think anything of it. I just thought, man I am tired. I was waking up at 6 to work out, so I thought that was the cause. Life continued.
Then I started to be very tired and very hungry. I still didn’t put it all together. Maybe I am just readjusting to only nursing once a day. Hmmmm…
The last week in February Bradley got the stomach bug. Looking back, I was about 7 weeks along. Well, that is always when the nausea hits me at full swing. I thought that I had Bradley’s little stomach bug. I never threw up, I felt like I was going to. This happened Monday morning, Tuesday morning, Wednesday morning. Hmmmm… I even asked Chris if he was going to be working close to the house, I just feel horrible. But then when he called later in the afternoon I would be feeling fine.
Thursday morning we had a playdate with Chloe. Greta and I were talking and I was telling that I just didn’t feel well. She said, “I bet you are pregnant.”
Ummm, no way. That is just impossible. First of all that just doesn’t “happen” for Chris and I. We KNOW about these things. We have doctors, shots, appointments, charts, dates. We don’t just walk around not knowing. That is just not how it works for us. Thursday night we went to dinner at our favorite little restaurant. I walked in and the smell made my stomach curl. You would think after all of this, I would have ran directly to the store. No, like I said, that isn’t the way things happen for us.
Now, Friday morning, 6:30 am. I am doing my weight routine at the gym, and staring at myself in the mirror. This is what I was thinking….
maybe Greta is right?
there is no way? How could that just happen for us?
I don’t even want to take a test.
I have taken a million and they almost always say, NOT PREGNANT, YOU SUCK. ok they don’t say the last part, but that is how you feel.
If I even go and take one, I am thinking that it could “just happen” for us and I don’t want to be that naive.
but I have been REALLY tired.
I have been feeling REALLY nauseas.
I think I have a random stick at home from ellie. I won’t say anything. I will get bradley to preschool. I will put ellie down for her nap, and we’ll just see. then this silly thing will be over, and I can remember that stuff like this doesn’t just happen for us.
we aren’t that lucky.
I guess the morale of the story is, we are that lucky. We are blessed.
I immediately called Chris. His exact quote, “That is FU**ING AWESOME. That is the way it is supposed to be.”
I love him.
To baby 3, I love you more than words. I love the magical style that you have come into our lives. I get to see you today. Swimming around inside me.
31 years old. Pregnant with my third child. It happened. I am so thankful.