Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Goodnight Kiss

b&w bonnet

We have these meetings in the middle of the night or the early morning hours, me and you.  I used to dread our middle of the night meetings.  My body was so heavy from deep sleep. I would stumble to your crib and feed you while still keeping my eyes closed.  Or part dreaming about the next chance to let my head touch the pillow.

But then our meetings in the middle of the night ended, and we just would meet together in the early morning.  Most of the time the sun wasn't up, but it was on its way.  You would lift up your little head and cry out for me.  I would pick you up, plant a kiss on your cheek.  Together we would rock, just me and you.  You were so hungry.  You would drink and drink, and I would rub your little head.  The peach fuzz of your hair tickling my fingers.  When you were filled up, I would hold you.  We would rock to our own song.  The song of sleep and full moons.  Your baby body giving way to fullness and slumber.  You would sigh and suck on your paci.  Squish, squish, squish in my ear while we rocked to our song.  We fit together like a perfect puzzle.  You ready for sleep, me wanting to hold you just one more minute.  Then as gentle as the breeze I would lay you back down.  Squish, squish, sigh.  Goodnight kiss.

These were our little meetings Ellie.  Just me and you, some milk, some pacies, some moons.  Six months of our meetings have come and now gone.  You don't wake me up to meet in the early morning.  You sleep and sleep.  Part of me is so proud of you little girl.  This is a huge accomplishment.  You sleeping through the night.  But another part of me....  The crazy mama part of me that loves you more than life itself misses our midnight meetings.  See I don't have meetings with your brother anymore.  He is a 'big boy.'  He hasn't met me in the middle of the night in a long time.  I know that this too shall pass, and these moments will be just a memory and a blur.  I just wanted something to remember our goodnight kiss.  

So some pictures in an adorable bonnet and a dress that was mine as a girl were in order.  We needed to document your sweet face, and your crazy chubbiness.  I need to remember every inch of who you are at this moment.  Soak it all up, because you my dear are growing up.  

Happy Six Months My Sweet Ellie!!  Mama loves you more than milk and pacies, and for many moons to come!!


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9 comments:

Jennifer said...

What a sweet girl! Oh my! She's a doll! Is that a new dress and hat or vintage? It looks like something I had when I was little. LOVE it!

Ang Blanchette said...

Sniff, sniff. From another momma who cherishes those midnight meetings, too.

Lindsay said...

oo Clare such a beautiful post!! Give that cubbers some hugs and kisses from her auntie!! I could eat her up in that bonnet and those cheeks!

Krystyn said...

Happy six months to your sweet little milk and paci lover.

laura said...

love this post. love, love, love.
and the pictures....i think i may have found benny's future bride! ;) now, if only she was a wahoo, she'd be perfect! hehe!

Jodee Leader said...

What a sweet post! Six months is my favorite baby stage! I love these pictures too!

Christy said...

She is seriously beyond adorable. I could just eat her up!

Debbie said...

Oh, the tears are just welling up in my eyes. Such a beautiful post, Clare, and just so awesome that you are savoring those special moments. Those pics are ridiculously CUTE!!! I can't even believe it's been 6 months!!! Give that baby girl a giant smooch for me!!!

aimee said...

I love this post! Those middle of the night feedings sure are bittersweet, aren't they? One on hand, you just want to stay in bed, on the other hand, you secretly enjoy the midnight meetings - just mommy and baby and no one else. I think I'll be sad when Finn doesn't need me at 4:00 AM anymore.

I love the photos. I had the exact same outfit!