Monday, May 11, 2009

Bumps In The Road

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Why didn't anyone warn us when we were little that there are so many bumps in the road?? I remember graduating from college thinking that life played out as simple as college life. I worked hard during the week, excelled even, and then the weekends were as fun as I made them. Frat parties, friends, sorority mixers, I mean it doesn't get better than that. I even smile thinking about the endless hours I spent running on the Huckleberry Trail (it was my favorite place to go running in school) with the sun shining down and friends by my side.

It seems like lately we have encountered those annoying bumps in the road. The ones that you know in a few years won't seem to matter, but at the moment they are affecting you! This picture was taken in the beginning of last week, while we were in the mist of packing the kitchen. I was going to do a post on Bradley playing with all of the boxes. It was so adorable...he would fill them up with toys, climb inside and play endlessly. Now, all of the boxes are piled up in the kitchen and our move is on hold. We are waiting for more information from our buyers that I don't really want to go into but it is just frustrating. We are living a limbo land, and I just like to have a plan.

This was all compounded by another round of fertility treatments not working last week. I know that I have blogged about all of this before, but we are still trying to have another child. It has been an emotional and painful process. I actually just read an article in the Parade Magazine in the Washington Post this weekend. One line just hit me so hard, "one day you are popping some clomid and the next you are taking out a second mortgage for IVF." We aren't quite there yet, but we are getting pretty darn close. I just can't imagine what has happened to my body since conceiving Bradley, but obviously a lot has. We have undergone countless rounds of clomid, injections, and two inseminations. It is so sucky...

We are definitely taking a break while we are finalizing all of the house stuff, but I am ready to CATCH A BREAK!!! When is it my turn for things to just work out? Or does it never happen that way? I have to admit I spent a great deal of Mother's Day down in the dumps. Chris was a good sport, and tried to cheer me up. But, I feel like the world is attacking our little family and I just want the happy ending? Isn't that what we all want?

12 comments:

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...

Any time that we have moved over the years it has been stressful. The uncertainty is always difficult. Kind of goes with the territory unfortunately. In regards to your fertility treatments. My thoughts and prayers are with you that things work out. I certainly know how you feel. I had my daughter when I was 26, then so desperately wanted another one after a couple of years. Didn't happen. Twelve years later finally got my son. Life happened for me exactly as it should have. I just didn't know it at the time...

Lindsay said...

(((HUGS))) Love you.. I hope things start working out soon! Your in my prayers. XOXO

Chelle said...

Oh, Clare, sending you some big (((hugs))). I'm keeping you in my prayers during this hard and difficult time. I'm also praying that God has a plan for you all and I hope the plan starts working soon.

(((hugs))) honey.

Jodee Leader said...

Sorry to hear things are sooo stressful right now. Hang in there!

Amanda said...

I can only imagine how stressful life is for you both at the moment ~ hopefully when you do move out of your home and find a new place to stay things will calm down and you can get some normality back!
Hang in there!
love,
Amanda x

paige said...

thinking of you & lifting you up in prayer this morning sweet clare
xo


ps--on a lighter note,i saw you have 'pilars of the earth' listed as one of your faves. one of my girlfriends recommended it too....give me some scoop in your free time

xo

Kristen said...

Sorry to hear about the bumps...praying that you have a wonderful day today!

Krystyn said...

Oh you have so much going on. I can imagine the bumps..I hope they get smaller or go away quickly.

Christy said...

I am so sorry friend. It sounds like you need some chocolate and a bottle of wine.

Maybe this isn't helpful at all, but what about adoption?

amanda said...

so sorry to hear about the current bumps friend. they are indeed sucky ones.

sending bump free happy thoughts your direction. with a side of hugs :)

amy said...

Cheer up Clare! I will be thinking of you. As trite as it sounds, I have always found that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

CMG's Mom said...

Those are some pretty stressful "bumps" you are dealing with Clare...
You know I've been though all the "stuff" (including taking out the second mortgage for the IVF!), and I won't tell you it *will* happen or *won't* happen, but certainly can offer some support during the happenings in the meantime if it helps. I've also spent some major down mother's days, so I get that too.
Sending many hugs and prayers your way.
Laura